Clerks III (2022)
Director: Kevin Smith
Cast: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith
Kevin Smith had a heart attack, rewrote his legacy, and somehow made a movie that retroactively makes us like his older films less. This week on Dewey Pod Monster, we close out “April and the Threequel” by finally confronting the most threatened episode in show history: Clerks III. We've been dreading this one for four years. It was worse than we remembered.
In this episode, we discuss:
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The Nostalgia Cash-In That Went Too Far — Clerks III is essentially Kevin Smith remaking his own movie while reselling a heart attack story you've already heard on his podcast and live tour. We've paid for this content before.
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Comedy That Forgot to Be Funny — The film swings for emotional drama without earning it, leaving beloved characters stranded in a tone that doesn't fit them. It's neither funny enough to work as a comedy nor written well enough to land as a drama.
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The Rosario Dawson Problem — She was one of the best things about Clerks II, and here she's reduced to a ghost who tells her grieving husband she's sleeping with celebrities in heaven. It's a baffling choice that retroactively damages the previous film's ending.
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Who the Hell Is This Movie For? — Too recycled for longtime fans and too niche for newcomers, Clerks III only seems to work if you watched it live with Kevin Smith in the room. At home on your couch, it just doesn't work.
We Also Talked About:
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WrestleMania 42 (ESPN) (2026) — Both hosts tuned in out of habit and left empty. Over-commercialization, ads during wrestler entrances, a CM Punk vs. Roman Reigns main event that nobody asked for, and a streaming situation so fragmented neither host could even find where to watch it.
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Louis Theroux Documentaries (Dailymotion) — Sean went deep into Theroux's hour-long doc series including Extreme Love (dementia and caregiving), a trans kids episode, and Heroin Town USA — a gutting look at opiate addiction in a small Virginia town from the mid-2010s.
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Cop Game (Tubi) (1988) — Directed by Bruno Mattei under the alias Bob Hunter, this Filipino-shot Vietnam War action film stars Brent Huff and features miniature toy cars in chase scenes, two songs on a loop, and an ending so abrupt it barely qualifies as one. Sean watched it. He has regrets. He's still going to watch more Bruno Mattei films.
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Hellmare Trailer (Youtube)— John got an early look at this upcoming horror film from local filmmaker Victor Gabriel (of Blood Gorge and Cruel), and he's genuinely excited. Meta horror elements, great visuals, real craft on display. A small premiere is coming — watch this space.
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Movie Theater Massacre (Tubi) (2023) — Shot at the historic Redford Theater in Redford, Michigan, this COVID-era local slasher features a butter knife as a murder weapon and a Linnea Quigley cameo. It's not great. It exists.
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Scanner Cop 2 (Youtube) (1995)— John watched it. His dog was audibly disturbed by the psychic screaming noises. Kane Hodder is in it. Robert Forster is in it and deserved better. The highlight is a villain who threatens to “kill you so bad.”
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