Robocop 3 (1993) – That’s Not My Robocop!

Robocop 3 (1993)

Directed by Fred Dekker

Starring: Robert John Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, Bradley Whitford

They PG-13'd a franchise built on ultraviolence, gave Robocop a jetpack, and somehow thought a ninja robot was the answer. Welcome to Robocop 3.

This is the movie that killed Fred Dekker's career, broke Frank Miller's spirit, and somehow still made money. John and Sean strap in for one of the most gloriously misguided entries in the history of cult classics — a kids' movie with a body count, a legacy character dispatched in the laziest standoff ever committed to film, and a half-man, half-robot hero who shows up 20 minutes late to his own movie.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The Great Downgrade — Peter Weller's out, Robert John Burke is crammed into a suit that doesn't fit, and the result is exactly as uncomfortable as it sounds. We debate who's really at fault: the actor, the suit, or the whole cursed production.
• PG-13: The Franchise Killer — How stripping Robocop of everything that made him terrifying, visceral, and satirically brilliant in favor of toy-friendly family entertainment is the original sin this movie never recovers from.
• Too Many Factions, Zero Payoff — Splatter punks, Rehab mercenaries, a Japanese corporate ninja, a child hacker, the resistance, the cops — this movie stuffs more into a paper bag than the bag can hold, and then the bag explodes.
• The Jetpack Scene — No further comment necessary. You'll know it when you see it. It looks exactly as bad as you're imagining.

We Also Talked About:

• Remake, Remix, Rip-Off (Youtube) (2014, dir. Cem Kaya) — A documentary on Turkish pop cinema where three screenwriters ran an entire film industry, stunt safety was a suggestion, and they painted the film stock purple when they ran out of color.
• Neighbors – Episode 6 – “Yellow Thong Bikini” (Amazon) – Sean wraps up his coverage of the series with episode 6, “Yellow Thong Bikini” — the one he definitely couldn't watch with his kid. A 70-something man exercises around his California neighborhood in nothing but a yellow thong bikini, gets run out of town by disapproving neighbors, relocates to a Florida nudist colony, and somehow ends up entangled with a college student making hip-hop videos. It's exactly what it sounds like, and Sean recommends it with very specific caveats.
• Psycho Ape (Youtube) (2020) — John's new obsession: a Nike-wearing killer gorilla loose in Detroit, shot on a home camera. Also available via Found Footage Fest on Kindie.tv.
• High School U.S.A. (Youtube) (1983) — A made-for-TV fever dream starring Michael J. Fox, Crispin Glover, Anthony Edwards, and Todd Bridges.
• Mallrats (Youtube)(1995, dir. Kevin Smith) — John revisits Kevin Smith and remembers a better time. The specter of an upcoming Kevin Smith episode looms large.
• Anaconda (Amazon)(2025, dir. Brad Peyton, starring Jack Black & Paul Rudd) — Streaming on Netflix.

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