OnlyFangs (2025) – It’s Kind of Like Patreon, But More Fun

OnlyFangs (2025)

Director: Angelica De Alba, Paul Ragsdale

Starring: Nina Lane Kent, Drew Marvik, Kansas Bowling, Jessa Flux

A bloodsucking girl gang builds an app to keep the blood — and the subscribers — flowing. This week we sink our teeth into OnlyFangs, the crowdfunded, indie vampire-comedy that takes the classic “monster hides among us” story and drags it kicking and screaming into the OnlyFans era. We break down what works, what doesn't, and why this thing runs a full two hours when it probably didn't need to.

In this episode, we discuss:

Vampires: Monetizing the Undead – We dig into the movie's cleverest idea: a bloodthirsty gang of vampire women launching their own subscription app to turn horny fans into a self-replenishing food source. Modern, dumb, and weirdly plausible.
Two Hours Is a Lot of Hours – The runtime debate gets heated. One of us thinks this crowdfunded director's-cut energy is part of the charm; the other thinks 20 minutes of every hour could hit the cutting room floor without losing a single plot beat.
The Cast Carries It – Shoutouts fly for Drew Marvik, Jessa Flux, Nina Lane Kent, Kansas Bowling, and a scene-stealing Ginger Lynn cameo. We argue over who's really the lead and why the nerd-hunter squad feels eerily accurate.
The Political Stuff Nobody Asked For – A recurring conspiracy-theory-spouting side character gets called out for tired jokes that overstay their welcome, even in a movie that otherwise doesn't take itself too seriously.

We Also Talked About:

Dark Side of the Ring, Season 7 (2025) (Amazon)– A three-part deep dive into Jeff Jarrett, TNA wrestling, and how a healthcare embezzlement scandal nearly tanked a wrestling promotion.
Walking and Talking (1996) (Ok.Ru)– An early Catherine Keener/Anne Heche hangout rom-com about friendship, jealousy, and growing apart.
Bang My Box: The Robin Byrd Story (2026) (Amazon) – A documentary on the public-access sex-positive icon who became an unlikely free speech and AIDS-era advocate.
The Odyssey (2025) – A three-hour theatrical epic with eardrum-shattering sound design and a very confused spouse.
Beyond the Law (1993) (Tubi) – Charlie Sheen goes undercover biker in this dirtbag-adjacent Stone Cold knockoff, complete with unforgettable acting choices.
Kill Zone (1985) (Tubi) – A slow-burn David A. Prior joint that eventually erupts into glorious, mindless army-man carnage.
They Will Kill You (2026) (Amazon) – Zazie Beetz throws down against a satanic cult in this stylish, Tarantino-flavored action flick.