Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)

Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) Director: Andy Sidaris Starring: Ronn Moss, Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, some other fucker’s boobs. Two drug enforcement agents plus two chicks with two boobs a piece plus two friends that are dudes plus two bad dudes – and don’t forget to add an exploding skateboarder and his blow up […]

The Perfect Weapon (1991)

Director: Mark DiSalle Starring: Jeff Speakman, John Dye, Mako, Mariska Hargitay, James Hong, some other kicking fuckers. In Jeff Speakman’s first starring role, he plays an expert in “kenpo” karate avenges his Koreatown friend, slain by a mobster in Los Angeles. The perfect weapon is the perfect example of why you should mind your own […]

Never Too Young To Die (1986)

Directed by: Gil Bettman Starring: John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons, Gene Simmons, Robert Englund, A suprising number of fuckers you’ve heard of. As crazy as it sounds, John Stamos is a college gymnastics whiz kid who’s dad (George Lazenby) is a special agent trying to stop the “Hermaphroditic” maniacal rocker Velvet Von Ragnar played by […]

Wolfcop (2014)

Directed: Lowell Dean Starring: Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Sarah Lind, Some other wolf dick. It’s not unusual for alcoholic cop Lou to be loved by anyone. This time around in his blacked out stupor, things get hairy, and it’s all fun and games until you’re pissing blood at the drink and dink with a too […]

Kill Switch (2008)

Director: Jeff King Writer: Steven Seagal Starring: Stevan Seagal, Isaac Hayes, Holly Elissa, honestly… no other fuckers you’ve ever heard of. A troubled detective mumbles his way through Memphis in order to track  down a pair of serial killers. The twist? He was both serial killers the whole time. What we watched: Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker, Long Live […]