This month on the Dewey Podmonster Podcast, we're diving into blockbuster month — and apparently nobody told blockbusters they're supposed to be 90 minutes long. We're saddling up for a double dose of Nic Cage and Jerry Bruckheimer, tackling two of the most rewatchable, comfort-food action movies of the '90s and 2000s. One is a legitimately great '90s action movie with Sean Connery and nerve gas. The other is car porn with a piss-yellow color grade. We love them both anyway.
The Rock (1996)
Directed by Michael Bay
Starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, David Morse
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The Quintessential '90s Action Movie – Why The Rock might be the most Michael Bay movie Michael Bay ever made, from the spinning camera shots to the needlessly destroyed San Francisco, and why Nic Cage's first big action role still works because he's “reserved enough but still a little unhinged.”
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Wasted Character Actors and the WWE Version of Tony Todd – How a movie this loaded with talent — Michael Biehn, Tony Todd, John C. McGinley — gives almost none of them enough screen time, and why Tony Todd showing up to a nerve gas standoff with just a knife is maybe the funniest thing in the movie.
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The Trolley Chase and the Irish Flute That Wouldn't Stop – Why the San Francisco trolley chase is basically a Family Guy episode, why the “Save yourselves, goddammit” guy is the best character, and why that damn penny whistle plays every single time Connery walks on screen.
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A Villain With His Heart in the Right Place – Ed Harris as General Hummel, a bad guy who's not really a bad guy, and why his mutiny squad turning on him wraps the movie up in 15 minutes but still leaves it 2 hours and 16 minutes long.
Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)
Directed by Dominic Sena
Starring Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni Ribisi, Robert Duvall.
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Car Porn, Piss Yellow, and the Anakin & Padmé Chemistry Awards – Why Gone in 60 Seconds is 30 minutes too long, why nobody in this movie can hear anything, why the Angelina Jolie marketing was a scam, and why Cage and Jolie have less chemistry than two people in a Star Wars prequel nobody asked for.
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Master P Ruins Everything – The baffling subplot that adds 15 minutes of runtime, makes the movie stupider, and features nobody in an entire LA neighborhood calling the cops while cars explode in their front yards.
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72 Hours and You Wait Until the Last Day? – The maddening logic of professional car thieves who procrastinate, a Shelby GT500 parked at the bottom of a public garage ramp, and why the flash photography during recon is peak 2000s criminal mastermind behavior.
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Silent Bob Lifts Weights – Vinnie Jones as a mute coroner who fits all the eating tropes, Giovanni Ribisi as the perfect Weasley brother, and a soundtrack that's a total time capsule of the year 2000.
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